Adam Volk is a wannabe screenwriter trying desperately to break into the industry and cram his hack drivel down Hollywood’s gaping maw. Each week he examines one aspect from the wonderfully demented world of screenwriting.

Remember that hot, yet surprisingly nerdy girl you used to go to high school with? You know, the kind of chick who could rock a mini-skirt and angora sweater while still quoting Star Wars and debating the finer points of old kung fu movies? Now imagine she grew up, filled out, and ended up working for a film production company in L.A. where she hosts her own popular web show, and you have something of an idea as to who and what Script Girl is all about.

For those of you who haven’t heard of her before, the busty and bespectacled Script Girl is the nom de plume of an unidentified production assistant who works for an equally unidentifiable Los Angeles studio. Finding any kind of details on the real identity of Script Girl is about as likely as figuring out who capped JFK as the girl seems to just kind of exist in the ethernet ether. Maybe she’s in the Harvey Weinstein witness protection program or refused to donate her bodily fluids to the Church of Scientology, but for whatever reason, Script Girl is keeping her real identity to herself. And hey, that’s cool.

The premise of Script Girl’s web show, however, is brilliant in its simplicity: each week she offers a detailed Hollywood script sales report highlighting which screenplays have been bought and sold and including a brief synopsis of the project and the key figures involved. Throw in plenty of humour, movie references, hilariously low budget effects and yes, T&A, and Script Girl is well on her way to becoming the biggest internet phenomenon this side of Ask a Ninja.

On the surface Script Girl could easily be mistaken as an attempt to placate lusty fanboys, but there’s little doubt that beneath her ample cleavage beats the heart of a true film geek. Peering over her desk with her Tina Fey glasses and girl next door good looks, Script Girl comments are insightful, funny and – for aspiring writers – undeniably useful. Sure her reports contain plenty of industry jargon and name dropping that only L.A. latte-suckers will find interesting, but more often than not, they’re also told with a scathingly acerbic wit, taking jabs at the ridiculous nature of Hollywood and presenting it all in a hilariously accessible format that almost anyone can enjoy.

For aspiring and professional screenwriters alike, Script Girl has become nothing short of the patron saint of Final Draft Version 7. Sure wannabe word monkeys can pour over the trades and browse Variety, but in one simple and easy to digest weekly video report, those shopping around their specs and hoping desperately to land an agent, can find out just what is (and isn’t) selling in LA-LA land. In this sense, Script Girl is more than just mindless entertainment; she’s practically a public service announcement for down on their luck wordsmiths.

Yes, Script Girl is the real deal, a smart, sexy and entertainingly insightful online force of screenplay dispensing wisdom. Maybe it’s her hipster glasses, self-deprecating humour or the way her breasts heave when she says “Benderspink”, but for anyone looking for a weekly dose of screenplay sales and Hollywood insider news there’s Script Girl, a woman and a writer whose style is best summarized by the sage-like mantra she offers at the end of each report: “Remember: You Can’t Sell It if You Don’t Write It”.

Adam Volk is a wannabe screenwriter trying desperately to break into the industry and cram his hack drivel down Hollywood’s gaping maw. Each week he examines one aspect from the wonderfully demented world of screenwriting.

Two years ago — or so the story goes — a young executive at Leonardo DiCaprio’s production company Appian Way, decided to forgo giving Leo his daily frappuccino enema and instead emailed a large number of Hollywood executives asking them to send him a list of their 10 favorite unproduced screenplays of that year. The list soon started circulated through the ranks of L.A.’s movers and shakers eventually making the jump from insider obscurity to becoming a fledgling Hollywood tradition. Since then the Black List has grown in size and prominence (this year over 250 studio schmoozers were asked to pick the best of the best). In true Hollywood fashion of course, the list has also become a glorified pissing contest between studios and talent agencies hoping to make a name for themselves.

For industry outsiders however, the Black List is also a chance to get a sneak peak at some of the hottest scripts most people have probably never heard of. It’s also a chance to see some of the many films which are likely to be serious box office and critical contenders (the 2007 Black List for example, featured the scripts for The Wrestler, Valkyrie and Slumdog Millionaire, and that’s before the films were in the very earliest stages of production).

So without further adieu let’s take a look at this year’s Black List, starting off with the Top 10:

1. THE BEAVER by Kyle Killen
The Plot: When a depressed toy manufacturer named Walter Black loses his family and his business he tries on a hand puppet—a chatty British rodent called “The Beaver”. Walter’s personality is soon transformed and eventually The Beaver begins to take over Walter’s personality completely. The script has been described as a quirky, dark comedy and a cross between “Liar Liar” and the cult horror movie “Magic”. Currently Steve Carell has signed on to play the lead.

2. THE ORANGES by Jay Reiss and Ian Helfer
The Plot: Two New Jersey families are thrown into comic turmoil when their estranged daughter returns for Christmas and falls in love with her parents’ best friend. The script is being described as a cross between “The Graduate” and “Meet the Parents” and while the film hasn’t been cast yet it’s being helmed by Anthony Bregman (who recently produced Charlie Kaufman’s “Synecdoche, New York”) and “Entourage” director Julian Farino.

3. BUTTER by Jason Micallef
The Plot: An African-American foster child named Destiny, faces off against Iowa’s reigning dairy diva – the beautiful but venal Laura Pickler – in an epic butter-carving competition. The feel-good comedy has been compared to quirky films like “Election” and “Best in Show” and DreamWorks has begun early negotiations for the project with Jennifer Garner in talks to play one of the leads.

4. BIG HOLE by Michael Gilio
The Plot: An aging and surly ex-cowboy named Lee, loses $30,000 to a fraudulent sweepstakes company and sets out to gain vengeance on those responsible. Lee’s son, the local sheriff, is soon charged with stopping him and a cat and mouse game between father and son begins. The film is already being compared to “Falling Down” and “No Country for Old Men” and the project has been picked up Aversano Films.

5. THE LOW DWELLER by Brad Ingelsby
The Plot: Charlie “Slim” Hendrick, a hard-ass ex-convict, returns home to find that his girlfriend has moved on and his dead beat brother has accrued a sizable gambling debt. When a disfigured, dog-loving thug beats his brother to death, Slim finds himself thrown back in a world of violence and revenge. The script is described as a modern “Unforgiven” and Tony and Ridley Scott will co-produce.

6. F***BUDDIES by Liz Meriwether
The Plot: While having the greatest movie title since “Young People Fucking” the plot follows the exploits of Emma and Adam, two best friends in their early twenties who are (as the title suggests) the ultimate fuck buddies. Their no-strings-attached arrangement turns south however, when Adam falls in love with Emma. The film has been compared to “Zack and Miri Make a Porno” and “Harry Met Sally” and is currently in development by Ivan Reitman.

7. WINTER’S DISCONTENT by Paul Fruchbom
The Plot: When 75 year old geezer Herb Winter becomes a widower after 50 years of marriage he decides to make up for lost time by nailing every willing and able woman he can find. He soon moves into a retirement community and attempts to start a new life as an elderly swinging single. Viagra jokes ensue. The script has been picked up by Sony Pictures, although as of yet no director or cast has been brought on board.

8. BROKEN CITY by Brian Tucker
The Plot: Ex-cop turned private investigator Billy Taggart, finds himself in a world of trouble after he is hired to find out if the Mayor of New York’s wife is having an affair. His investigation soon uncovers a relationship between the mayor’s wife and the campaign manager of a corrupt mayoral candidate who wins up dead. Taggart must then stay one step ahead of the law in an attempt to expose corruption and conspiracy. The film is being developed by Mandate Pictures and John Malkovich’s production company Mr. Mudd (both of whom previously collaborated together to produce “Juno”).

9. I’M WITH CANCER by Will Reiser
The Plot: Based on screenwriter Will Reiser’s real-life battle with cancer, in this unlikely comedy, a 25-year-old single Jewish guy named Adam is diagnosed with spinal cancer and decides to use humor as a way of dealing with his rapidly imploding life. The project is being helmed by Mandate Pictures and Seth Rogen has signed on to play Adam’s best friend in addition to working as a producer on the film.

10. OUR BRAND IS CRISIS by Peter Straughan
The Plot: An elite team of American political operatives are ordered to Bolivia to help manipulate the presidential election while facing of violence and social upheaval in the explosive Latin American nation. The film is loosely based on a 2006 documentary of the same name and George Clooney will be producing the project.

Other top picks after the jump:

INGLORIOUS BASTERDS by Quentin Tarantino
During the Second World War, an elite team of American soldiers join the French resistance to battle Nazis in occupied Europe.

UNTITLED VANESSA TAYLOR PROJECT by Vanessa Taylor
After thirty years of tumultuous (and occasionally destructive) marriage, a middle-aged couple attends an intense counseling session over the course of a single weekend to determine the fate of their marriage.

GALAHAD by Ryan Condal
A retelling of the King Arthur legend from the perspective of Galahad, one of the heroic knights of the round table.

THE WEST IS DEAD by Andrew Baldwin
During the height of the Great Depression, a group of desperate men become gun-totting outlaws when they learn their town is going to be destroyed to make way for the Hoover Dam.

MANUSCRIPT by Paul Grellong
A contemporary thriller about three young, struggling writers living in New York whose lust for success soon sets them on a dark path of jealousy and betrayal.

THE TUTOR by Matthew Fogel
A twenty-three year old graduate students is forced to tutor his ex-girlfriend’s younger sister for her upcoming SATs. When the tutor and student begin to develop feelings for one another it sets in motion a series of events which rapidly spin out of control.

SUNFLOWER by Misha Green
Two young women struggle to escape from the clutches of a deranged college professor who holds them hostage.

NOWHERE BOY by Matt Greenhalgh
The story of John Lennon’s meteoric rise from a misunderstood teenager in Liverpool to one of the most iconic rock stars of all time.

GOING THE DISTANCE by Geoff LaTulippe
A couple tries desperately to maintain a difficult long-distance relationship.

THE AMERICAN WAY by Brian Kistler
When their parents are murdered in cold blood, two brothers set out on two different life-changing paths, one becoming an FBI agent and the other turning to a life of crime.

THE DESCENDANTS by Nat Faxon and Jim Rash
Based on the novel of the same name by Kaui Hart Hemmings, the film takes place in Oahu, Hawaii and follows a wealthy attorney who learns that his wife had an affair prior to lapsing into a life-threatening coma. While debating whether or not to pull the plug, the protagonist sets out on a road trip with his two troubled teenaged daughters to confront the man his wife was involved with.

RAINDROPS ALL AROUND ME by Reed Agnew and Eli Jorne
A socially inept high school teacher with an above average IQ attempts to come out of his academic book worm shell in order to fit in with those around him.

SEQUELS, REMAKES & ADAPTATIONS by Sam Esmail
The incredible adventures of a young man desperately in search of love and attempting to discover his destiny.

A COUPLE OF DICKS by Mark Cullen and Robb Cullen
Two hard-boiled veteran LAPD detectives attempt to track down a stolen, mint-condition 1952 baseball card shortly before one of the detective’s daughter’s wedding.

GAY DUDE by Alan Yang
A teen comedy about two high school seniors whose close friendship is torn apart after one them comes out of the closet.

THE MANY DEATHS OF BARNABY JAMES by Brian Nathanson
A teenage apprentice in a macabre circus for the dead sets out to bring his true love back to life. Along the way he encounters a variety of strange and dangerous characters as he travels deeper into the afterlife.

UNDERAGE by Scott Neustadter and Michael Weber
An attractive seventeen-year-old girl seduces a man in his twenties and then blackmails him into being her boyfriend in order to exact revenge on her high school ex.

CODE NAME VEIL by Matt Billingsley
Based on actual historical events, a young CIA agent struggles to maintain his morality while working in the treacherous and volatile world of 1980s Beirut.

EVERYTHING MUST GO by Dan Rush
When a recovering alcoholic falls off the wagon, he loses both his job and his wife and decides to live on his front lawn, selling all of his belongings in a yard sale and grappling with the larger existential questions about his life.

THE FOURTH KIND by Olatunde Osunsanmi
A woman investigates a series of unexplained disappearances in small town in a remote area of Alaska.

FOXCATCHER by E. Max Frye and Dan Futterman
Based on a true story, the script follows the life of John du Pont, a paranoid schizophrenic and heir to the sizable du Pont fortune. Du Pont later built a wrestling training facility on his sprawling Pennsylvania estate only to later shoot and kill Olympic gold medal wrestler David Schulz.

THE PHANTOM LIMB by Kevin Koehler
A down on his luck private eye investigates a notorious gangster and uncovers a brothel that caters exclusively to clients with amputee fetishes.

THE APOSTLES OF INFINITE LOVE by Victoria Strouse
An upper class New York family learns that their youngest daughter has joined a cult and enlists the aid of an elite “deprogrammer” to get her back. While embarking on a road trip to carry out the rescue, the parents and siblings of the dysfunctional family deal with their own issues with the deprogrammer caught in the middle.

THE F-WORD by Elan Mastai
Two best friends fall hopelessly in love and struggle to develop their new relationship without sacrificing the bond between them.

UP IN THE AIR by Jason Reitman
A ruthless human resources executive, whose job it is to fire people, looks forward to the only joy he has in life: his millionth frequent flyer mile, a goal he pursues with zeal as the rest of his life falls apart around him due to his constantly being on the road.

BACHELORETTE by Leslye Headland
Ten years out of high school, three unhappy single friends come together as bridesmaids at a classmate’s wedding and get drunk and high while romancing new and old loves and settling old scores.

JONNY QUEST by Dan Mazeau
Based on the popular cartoon series, young Jonny Quest travels the world with his scientist father, adopted brother from India, faithful bulldog, and a government agent assigned to protect them while they investigate scientific mysteries.

THE KARMA COALITION by Shawn Christensen
A professor embarks on a quest to uncover the truth behind his wife’s death before the world ends.

KEIKO by Elizabeth Wright Shapiro
A white teenaged girl, who was adopted and raised by Japanese parents in Tokyo, travels to America to find her long lost father who just happens to be former SNL comedian Dana Carvey.

KNIGHTS by Nick Confalone and Neal Dusedau
A group of British celebrities (an entrepreneur, a soccer player, a musician and an actor) are knighted and called upon to defend their country in a madcap action-adventure.

TWENTY TIMES A LADY by Gabrielle Allan and Jennifer Crittenden
Based on the book by Karyn Bosnak, a young woman named Ally swears of men after learning that she has had twice as many sexual partners as the national average. She then decides to track down the previous twenty men she slept with and find out if she may have overlooked Mr. Right.

CLEAR WINTER NOON by John Kolvenbach
An aging hit man released from jail and now in his late seventies, tries to make amends for the innocent life he took.

FIERCE INVALIDS HOME FROM HOT CLIMATES by Eric Aronson
Based on the novel by Tom Robbins, a world-weary CIA operative is duped by his boss into helping replace a listening device that has fallen into Russian hands.

ROUNDTABLE by Brian K. Vaughan
Written by comic book scribe Brian K. Vaughan, the script tells the story of a modern day Merlin who attempts to assemble a new band of Arthurian knights to battle an ancient evil.

THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF THE MONOGAMOUS DUCK by Neeraj Katyal
A writer struggling with drugs and his girlfriend’s death leaves New York for Los Angeles where he falls in love with a young teacher and attempts to straighten out his life.

THE GARY COLEMAN –EMMANUEL LEWIS PROJECT by Dan Fogelman
Emmanuel Lewis and Gary Coleman save the world from an evil madman.

THE LAYMAN’S TERMS by Jeremy Bailey
In the midst of the Great Depression, a prodigal son returns home to face his demons and resurrect the dust bowl town he left behind. But the arrival of a mysterious woman soon threatens his way of life when he discovers she is being hunted by the very same Chicago gangsters he used to run with.

THE MALLUSIONIST by Robbie Pickering and Jace Ricci
A wannabe illusionist travels cross country with his young son to compete against his arch-nemesis, who happens to be a popular Vegas stage show magician.

PLAN B by Kate Angelo
A woman sets out to be artificially inseminated only to inadvertently fall in love.

WHAT IS LIFE WORTH? By Max Borenstein
Based on the memoir of Kenneth Feinberg, the script is a dramatization of Feinberg’s involvement in the September 11th victims compensation fund.

ACOD: ADULT CHILDREN OF DIVORCE by Ben Karlin and Stu Zicherman
A grown man finds himself caught up in the bitter crossfire brought about by his parents divorce.

BAD TEACHER by Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky
After being dumped by her boyfriend, a foul-mouthed, gold-digging seventh-grade teacher sets her sights on a colleague who is dating the school’s model teacher.

THE BIRTHDAY PARTY by Charles Randolph
The true story of former Assistant United States attorney Stanley Alpert, who was kidnapped by petty thieves and held hostage in an apartment in Queens, New York in 1998.

CHILD 44 by Richard Price
Based on the novel by Tom Rob Smith, an officer with the Soviet secret police in Stalinist Russia is framed by a colleague for treason. While on the run with his wife, he stumbles upon a series of child murders and launches his own investigation while trying to clear his good name.

INFERNO: A LINDA LOVELACE STORY by Matt Wilder
The story of Linda Lovelace, the first mainstream porn star who eventually overcame her past, found happiness in suburbia and led a crusade to stop the spread of pornography in America.

EASY A by Bert Royal
A good-natured high school student uses the rumor mill to personal advantage by pretending to be the school slut.

GRAND THEFT AUTO by Jason Dean Hall
Facing foreclosure on his repo yard, a young ex-con resumes a life of crime, only to get caught up in coke deal gone bad. Trapped in a tangled web of double-crosses and shootouts between the Russian mafia, the Yakuza and the ATF, the ex-con kidnaps a local crime boss’s daughter and steals car after car on a Vegas bound suicide mission to retrieve the stolen drugs.

HELP ME SPREAD GOODNESS by Mark Friedman
When an email scammer cons a man out of his son’s college fund, the man travels to Nigeria to confront those responsible for ripping him off.

GIANTS by Eric Nazarian
A teenager with Marfan Syndrome – a disease which results in unusually stretched out limbs and joints – comes to terms with his estranged father, his overworked mother, and the possibility that he very well might die during an upcoming surgical procedure.

LONDON BOULEVARD by William Monahan
Based on the book by Ken Fruen, an ex-con named Mitchell lands a legitimate job as a handyman for a rich actress who’s eager to reward him with cash, cars, and sex. But as Mitchell begins his new life, he discovers that he can never truly escape his violent past or the dangerous world of loan sharks, drug addicts and low-life bottom feeders.

SHRAPNEL by Evan Daugherty
Two mortal enemies square off on a hunting trip to the death.

YOUR DREAMS SUCK by Kat Dennings and Geoffrey Litwak
An awkward teen with no self esteem regains his self-confidence after joining a Dance Dance Revolution team.

MEMOIRS by Will Fetters
Two college students who’ve experienced recent loss fall in love and attempt to heal their fractured families.

GREETINGS FROM JERRY by John Killoran
Jerry seems to have it all — money, women, and a ridiculously easy job as a greeting card writer — until a tiny mistake at work unravels his life. Having lost everything he had — but never earned — he’s forced to confront who he really is and start again from scratch.

AFTER HAILEY by Scott Frank
Based on the novel by Jonathan Tropper, after a man in his late twenties loses his significantly older wife, he remains in suburbia and struggles to raise her teenaged son from a previous marriage.

THE BLADE ITSELF by Aaron Stockard
Based on the novel by Marcus Sakey, two former childhood friends, who made their reputation committing petty crimes, are reunited years later, forcing one of them to decide how far he will go to protect his past.

FRESHLY POPPED by Megan Parsons
A teenage girl who works at a movie theatre tries to decide who she wants to lose her virginity to.

GAZA by Frank Deasy
A British woman goes to the infamous Gaza strip in the Middle East to recover the body of her dead daughter and comes to understand her political ideals.

BROTHERHOOD OF THE ROSE by Adam Cozad
Based on the novel by “Rambo” scribe David Morrell, two orphans are raised by a CIA operative to become elite assassins, only to later become targets themselves in a conspiracy of Jason Bourne like proportions.

MAN OF CLOTH by Josh Zetumer
When a 19th century English minister’s wife and youngest son are unjustly punished and sent off to a prison colony in Australia, the minister and his oldest son journey across the world to re-unite the family. Upon their arrival however, the minister discovers his wife and child have been killed and sets out to avenge their deaths.

GROWN MAN BUSINESS by Justin Britt-Gibson
A man who was once a hardened gangster in his younger days, returns to his neighborhood after a long absence to find the individuals who murdered the son he abandoned years earlier.

HOW TO BE GOOD by Cindy Chupack
Based on the novel by Nick Hornby, a woman having second thoughts about her husband is pleased when he begins following a guru…that is until her husband invites the guru to live with them.

IRON JACK by Johnny Rosenthal
A renowned novelist’s comic quest for hidden treasure in the 1930s.

THE HERETIC by Javier Rodriguez
The Roman Catholic Church asks a former inquisitor to assassinate the rebel monk Martin Luther.

UNLOCKED by Peter O’Brien
A female CIA interrogator is unwittingly duped into coercing a terrorist to provide key information, only to discover that she’s delivered the intelligence to the wrong side who plans to launch a devastating biological attack on London.

SLEEPING BEAUTY by Julia Leigh
A haunting erotic fairy tale about Lucy, a student who drifts into prostitution and finds her niche by drugging herself and entering a ‘Sleeping Beauty Chamber’, where she has sex with various men, only to awake each morning with no knowledge of the previous nights events.

STOP HUNTINGDON ANIMAL CRUELTY by Adam Sachs
A lonely journalist finds love and inspiration when he covers the misadventures of a young boy’s animal rights protest.

A TALE OF TWO CITIES by Beau Willimon
Based on the novel by Charles Dickens and set in Paris and London during the French Revolution, English aristocrat Sydney Carton sacrifices his own life for his unrequited love Lucie Manette.

THE SPELLMAN FILES by Bobby Florsheim and Josh Stolberg
A family of private investigators use their gumshoe skills to crack cases and pry into one another’s personal lives.

THE BEAUTIFUL AND THE DAMNED by Hanna Weg
The tumultuous and doomed love affair of Jazz Age literary icons F. Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda Sayre.

WHAT WOULD KENNY DO? by Chris Baldi
A seventeen-year-old high school kid meets a ‘hologram’ of himself at thirty-seven-years-old and benefits from their friendship.

47 RONIN by Chris Morgan
Forty-seven samurai seek vengeance upon a regional lord who is responsible for the death of their master.

THE ZERO by Stephen Chin
Based on the novel by Jess Walter, a New York City policeman shoots himself in the head following the 9/11 terrorist attacks and when he recovers finds himself assigned to work for a shadowy agency at ‘Ground Zero’, where he is soon drawn into a sinister government plot.

BALLAD OF THE WHISKEY ROBBER by Rich Wilkes
Based on the book by Julian Rubinstein, the script tells the true story of bank robber Attila Ambrus, who made off with millions in the post-Soviet Wild West atmosphere of Eastern Europe during the 1990s, all while playing hockey for team Hungary.

THE DEBT by Jane Goldman and Matthew Vaughn
Based on the Israeli film “HaHov”, the script tells the story of three Israeli Mossad agents during the 1960s, who discover that an infamous Nazi war criminal is still alive and set out to pursue him.

A BITTERSWEET LIFE by Mark L Smith
A crime boss asks his trusted lieutenant to find out if his young mistress is having an affair and to kill her and her lover if she is. The lieutenant confirms the affair but, entranced by the girl, chooses to let them both live. When the crime boss learns of the betrayal he orders the lieutenant killed, setting in motion a series of violent retributions.

BOBISM by Ben Wexler
A shy college student discovers that life in one thousand years will be based on his blog and that he now has to stop aliens from the future who want him dead.

DEADLINE by Soo Hugh
A discredited journalist navigates the dangerous world of international politics in order to find a missing aid worker.

BOBBIE SUE by Russell Sharman, Owen Egerton and Chris Mass
A money-grubbing female ambulance chaser becomes the face of a prestigious law firm when an important client is sued for sexual discrimination.

A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY by Susan Walter
A female clothing designer struggles to find love and success after turning thirty.

THE ENDS OF THE EARTH by Chris Terrio
Based on a true story about the controversial love affair between an oil baron and his adopted daughter which destroyed the corporate empire they built together.

THE HOW-TO GUIDE FOR SAVING THE WORLD by Ben David Grabinski
A loser discovers a book on how to stop an alien invasion and is thrust into action to stop a real one.

I KILLED BUDDY CLOY by Nick Garrison and Chase Pletts
When a terrible act of violence shatters Ray’s hum-drum existence, his sociopath uncle lures him down a dangerous and vengeful path.

HEARTSTOPPER by Dan Antoniazzi and Ben Shiffrin
A romantic comedy about a serial killer.

JAR CITY by Michael Ross
Based on the film by Baltasar Kormakur, a police detective’s investigation of a murder leads to the uncovering of secrets in a small town.

SAMURAI by Fernley Phillips
Set in Japan during the 150 Year War, a masterless samurai out for justice, teams up with a ninja and a young English boy to rid Japan of an evil Lord.

THE MOST ANNOYING MAN IN THE WORLD by Kevin Kopelow and Heath Seifert
A man travels across the country with his annoying brother in order to reach his own wedding.

THE MURDERER AMONG US by Lori Gambino
Based on true events about legendary filmmaker Fritz Lang, who had to contend with a mounting police investigation into the death of his first wife, the growing threat of the Third Reich, and a caustic relationship with his female collaborator; all leading to the production of the groundbreaking film “M”.

MOTORCADE by Billy Ray
The President of the United States and his motorcade are attacked during a visit to Los Angeles.

ONCE UPON A TIME IN HELL by Brian McGreevy & Lee Shipman
A gritty, contemporary retelling of THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO set in the underworld of the Hell’s Kitchen Irish mob.

‘TIL BETH DO US PART by Jon Hurwitz & Hayden Schlossberg
The friendship of two men in their early twenties is put to the test when one of them becomes engaged.

THE SCAVENGERS by Nate Edelman
Based on the popular stage play “Playboy of the Western World” by J.M. Synge, a down on his luck Irishman becomes infamous when he commits a haphazard murder and catches the fancy of a local barmaid who follows him on the run.

SHERLOCK HOLMES by Tony Peckham
A dark, sophisticated take on Sherlock Holmes and his trusted companion, Dr. Watson.

SERIAL KILLER DAYS by Mark Carter
A dark comedy in which a town plagued by a serial killer decides to profit the only way it can: by creating a festival and economy around the town’s bloodthirsty – and still at large – homicidal maniac.

SWINGLES by Jeff Roda
After their best friends get engaged, a dedicated bachelor and a high-strung female lawyer team up to help each other get dates by “swingling”, a process in which they both reveal insights about the opposite sex. Complications ensue when the two begin to fall for one another.

UNTITLED CHANNING TATUM PROJECT by Doug Jung
A Los Angeles cop escorts an Asian gang leader back to South Korea. When the gang leader escapes, killing the cop’s partner in the process, he teams with a young Korean gangster in a bloody pursuit of revenge that takes them through the dangerous and exotic underworld of Seoul.

Adam Volk is a wannabe screenwriter trying desperately to break into the industry and cram his hack drivel down Hollywood’s gaping maw. Each week he examines one aspect from the wonderfully demented world of screenwriting.

Imagine trying to simultaneously pass a kidney stone, ride a unicycle and put together an IKEA filing cabinet — all while being chased by an amorous 300 pound gorilla — and you probably have a rough idea of what it’s like to try and make it as a professional writer. I mean, let’s face it, as a potentially glamorous career writing is somewhere up there with canine proctologist and McDonald’s fry cook; a grinding, demanding and often frustrating experience where success is measured in rejection letters and the number of times someone calls you a talentless hack. But if Darwin has taught us anything it’s that fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly and socially inept masochists become writers.

I’ve known I wanted to be a writer since I was five years old and scrawled a crude crayon-filled story about Optimus Prime and Scooby Doo joining forces to rescue the cast of Gilligan’s Island. Since then my writing has only marginally improved, but I’ve also managed to finagle my way into getting a full-time job writing video games. It’s only been over the past two years or so however, that I’ve also begun seriously trying to break into film and television — unsuccessfully thus far, I might add. I’ve sent scripts to a number of agents and producers, read everything I can about the industry, pimped and schmoozed with everyone and anyone who will listen to me and of course, when I have a spare moment, I write like hell. What I’ve learned from all of my struggles is that breaking into the entertainment industry as a writer is damned hard — not unlike say, pounding your head against a wall until you’re either knocked into a slobbering unconscious heap or the wall starts to crack.

So how does one go about breaking into the business as a screenwriter? Well, let’s be honest, if I knew that for certain I wouldn’t be writing this column, I’d be sipping margaritas in a hot tub in Burbank and telling Sumner Redstone to go screw himself. That being said, I have met a number of talented and successful film and television writers over the years and the one piece of advice I’ve been given time and time again is this: write a spec script.

A spec script (short for speculative script for those of us unfamiliar with Hollywood’s snooty vernacular) is a script that’s written for the sole purpose of being shopped around on the market and without being commissioned by a studio or network. For television in particular, spec scripts are the bread and butter for unknowns and rookie wordsmiths like myself looking to get their feet wet. Strangely though (or perhaps fittingly in Hollywood’s case) there’s usually nothing original about spec scripts. You know that awesome idea you have for a new show about a robot stripper who moonlights as a detective? Yeah, no one cares. Instead, television specs are usually based on an already existing show (generally something that’s still on the air and has about three seasons worth of episodes). The idea is that it gives producers, showrunners and head writers a way to judge potential talent by looking at an already established show.

Unfortunately, networks avoid specs for their own shows like the bubonic plague since it potentially raises a number of legal questions. So if for example, you wanted to land a job as a writer on a show like Weeds you might write a spec script for an episode of Entourage (and vice versa). In most cases though, writers stick to the most popular shows, meaning that producers and agents are flooded with spec scripts for series like Battlestar Galactica, Heroes and Lost.

A few months ago I managed to get in contact with a television producer in Vancouver who was trying to get a new series off the ground. I quickly attempted to convince him that I’d be perfect for a junior writer or writer’s assistant position (both of which are grunt, foot-in-the-door type entry level gigs). Fortunately, he was kind enough to agree to consider me (assuming the funding comes through), but has since informed me that if the pilot does take off he’ll want to see some of my work, which means hauling out a spec I’ve written for the Showtime series Dexter (a show similar — at least in tone — to the series he’s trying to get off the ground). Again, it seems strange to write something based on an already existing show and pour my heart and soul into a script which will never even come close to production, but that’s simply the nature of the beast. Hollywood doesn’t care about any of my original ideas. It simply wants to see if I can swim in the same waters as the big boys.

Of course, there are always exceptions. Matthew Weiner for example, originally wrote Mad Men as a spec script while he was working on the television show “Becker” and while most studios won’t touch an original TV spec with a ten foot pole, as an established TV writer Weiner managed to get the spec onto the desk of David Chase, who read it, loved it and immediately offered Weiner a staff position on The Sopranos. Only after Weiner left the show seven years later was he able to get Mad Men off the ground with AMC.

It’s stories like these that keep wannabes like myself chasing after that light at the end of the tunnel. A few months ago for example, I co-wrote an original television pilot spec with a friend of mine who works as a network writer for the Discovery Channel (and who can open the kind of doors a no-name like me can’t quite reach). The show is an animated comedy about life in the video game industry and while we’ve even managed to land a few meetings with a couple of networks, realistically the chances are pretty slim of it actually heading into production. Regardless, the television specs I’ve written – both original and otherwise – are all part of the game. In this sense specs are the tools wannabes like myself use to try to chip away at the towering and seemingly impenetrable walls of the entertainment industry.

Fortunately, there’s another method for struggling writers like myself to break through those walls: the film spec. Each year Hollywood options thousands of spec scripts from the unwashed and unknown masses of writers. What’s more, unlike television specs, these scripts are entirely original and while only a fraction of optioned scripts are ever made into feature length films, even a spec script which never goes anywhere can land you an agent, snag the attention of a producer or director, or earn you a gig as a story consultant or script doctor. Hell, Robert McKee — author of the now seminal screenwriting book “Story” and widely regarded as one of the foremost experts on writing for film and television — has sold numerous scripts over the years but not one has ever been produced.

My experience with writing a film spec has been almost as difficult and discouraging as my attempts to break into television. Two years ago for example, I spent almost ten months writing and polishing drafts of a film spec and — on the advice of a friend of mine who works as a executive assistant for a production studio in Toronto — I used the script to apply for the Canadian Film Centers prestigious Writers Lab program (founded by Academy Award winner Norman Jewison). The script was an action-drama about an aging hitman who is diagnosed with terminal cancer and sets out to rectify both his personal and professional life before he dies (with the overall narrative following the five stages of death). Unfortunately, I was rejected for admission into the CFC’s program, but I used the opportunity to shop the script around to an agent I knew who at the time had left Miramax to form a start up in New York. Again, he was nice enough to give me some feedback and encouragement but declined to take me on as a client. It’s a depressing experience getting rejected, but unfortunately the spec submission is all part of the process. Sink or swim. Survival of the fittest…

In the end, it’s impossible to know if any of the spec scripts I’ve written (or will continue to write) will go anywhere. In fact, there’s a common held belief in Hollywood that it takes on average about 10 years for a television or film writer to gain any kind of success and that’s assuming I don’t actually suck (which is of course, a possibility lurking in the mind of any self-respecting writer). And even if through some miracle, I do break into the biz anytime soon, statistically speaking television and film writers in both Canada and the U.S. generally make lousy salaries and often have to struggle to find and maintain a steady income (despite the common held public notion that writers are overpaid hacks raking in millions).

Yet despite the odds, despite the statistics and despite the many rejections I’ve experienced, being a writer is who I am and there’s nothing else I’d rather do. Because even in failure there’s some measure of success, as each script I write teaches me something new, challenges me in new ways and helps me improve my craft. Which leaves me right back where I started from – chipping away at the entertainment industry…one spec at a time.

Adam Volk is a wannabe screenwriter trying desperately to break into the industry and cram his hack drivel down Hollywood’s gaping maw. Each week he examines one aspect from the wonderfully demented world of screenwriting.

When it comes to scripts that have been circulating in the void of cinematic purgatory, Quentin Tarantino’s Inglorious Bastards has achieved an almost cult-like status among fanboy culture; an elusive face-melting Ark of the Covenant which — if Tarantinoites can be believed — will be the greatest thing to grace the silver screen since Vincent Vega accidentally shot Marvin in the face. Now, after nearly ten years in development and countless promises from Tarantino himself, it seems like the film is finally becoming a reality.

I recently got my filthy little mitts on a copy of the script, which was leaked onto the internet a few months back, and if the screenplay is any indication the film is likely to stir up the same kind of controversy and criticisms that circulated around Tarantino’s last outing in Grindhouse. Tarantino fanboys will love Bastards for its trademark dialogue, bizarre over-the-top violence and subtle reverence for all things pop culture. Conversely, critics who think a post-Death Proof Tarantino is past his prime will likely blast it apart as a self-indulgent exercise in masturbatory filmmaking.

******WARNING: Spoilers Ahead! ******

In terms of a basic story, much like previous Tarantino flicks, Bastards is broken down into several chapters peppered throughout the basic three acts:

1. Once Upon A Time…Nazi Occupied France
2. Inglorious Basterds
3. German Night In Paris
4. Operation Kino
5. Revenge of the Giant Face.

The first chapter introduces us to Colonel Landa, a.k.a The Jew Hunter, a ruthless SS officer renowned for his ability to hunt down and exterminate Jews even as Nazi Germany begins to cement its iron grip on Europe. Brutal, intelligent and coldly detached from his task, in the film’s opening scene Landa ends up in a remote farm house in France where he quickly executes a family of Jews after engaging in a round of trademark Tarantino-style dialogue with the farm’s inhabitants. Only a young Jewish girl named Shosanna manages to escape Landa’s vicious assault, paving the way for her eventual story of revenge which drives the central premise of the script.

Chapter 2 introduces us to the Bastards (or “Basterds” as the script styles them). Contrary to some of the early rumors circulating around the film, the story does not follow a Dirty Dozen style band of criminals turned commandos. Instead the Basterds are a rag-tag band of volunteer Jewish-American commandos tasked with operating behind enemy lines and killing as many Nazi’s as possible. Lead by a battle-hardened hillbilly named Lt. Aldo Raine (who will played by Brad Pitt), the Basterds themselves are relatively faceless soldiers, with the perhaps the only notable exception that of Sgt. Donny Donowitz, a.k.a. The Bear Jew, a Boston-born ass-kicker who uses a good-old fashioned American baseball bat to beat the living fuck out of German soldiers. There isn’t really much build up or explanation as to how or why the Basterds are brought together other than the fact that they enjoy killing Germans, but soon enough they’re raising hell in Nazi occupied Europe, earning them the enmity of the Fuhrer himself who even makes an appearance in the script, ranting and raving and ordering the Basterds to be eliminated by any means possible.

But while at first glance Bastards seems to follow the standard “man on a mission” narrative structure of such classic films as The Guns of Navarone or Where Eagles Dare, the script quickly diverts away from the Basterds, focusing instead on the exploits of Shosanna. At the start of Chapter 3, Shosanna is still on the run after her encounter with the Jew Hunter and is now hiding out in Paris. Starving, desperate and only one step ahead of the Gestapo, she manages to find employment and sanctuary in a French cinema run by the patrician Madame Mimieux. There, Shosanna encounters Frederick Zoller, a German war hero from the Eastern Front whose heroics have made him the star of a propaganda film directed by none other than Joseph Goebbels himself. Despite Shosanna’s constant refusal of his romantic advances, Zoller soon enlists Shosanna in his cause, forcing her to screen his film at her cinema to an audience that will include the highest ranking members of the Nazi party — including Hitler himself. Hungry for revenge, Shosanna and her lover Marcel plan to use the opportunity to burn the theatre down during the screening, using the theatre’s abundant supply of highly flammable celluloid to reduce the German high command to nothing more than smoldering remains.

As Chapter 4 begins however, we’re introduced to the eccentric British commando and film critic Lt. Hicox who is ordered by Churchill to join the Basterds in occupied France. The plan is for the Basterds to contact a beautiful German actress-turned-spy named Bridget von Hammersmark who will give the commandos access to the theatre at which point they will plant a bomb and wipe out the upper echelons of the German leadership. Unfortunately, things soon go awry culminating in a shootout in a Paris tavern, with the fate of the mission — and the Basterds themselves — hanging in the balance.

The situation quickly builds to a head in Chapter 5, with the Basterds and Shosanna crossing paths and attempting to realize their ultimate goals. I won’t give away too much of the ending other than to say that it ties up all of the loose plot threads nicely and has a fairly interesting climax that is surprisingly ballsy of Tarantino.

If the script is any indication, Bastards should also be an interesting visual experience. Throughout the screenplay Tarantino makes reference to a number of quirky cinematic tricks including omniscient narration, some memorable flashbacks, the inclusion of comic book style thought bubbles as well as mentioning that key scenes will be filmed in a variety of cinematic styles (including black and white French New Wave and a Sergio Leone Spaghetti Western influence).

Perhaps more so than any other Tarantino film, Bastards is also a film which espouses Tarantino’s abiding love of cinema. From the inclusion of cinema and filmmaking in the basic plot, to the countless references to obscure pre and post-war films, there is no shortage of material and it’s clear Tarantino heavily researched the periods cinematic history. That being said, “Bastards” is about as far removed from an actual historical war film as possible. Instead, much like previous Tarantino films, the story is really an homage to genre filmmaking, in this case giving a nod to B-movie style war flicks popularized in the 60s and 70s. In this sense, much like Kill Bill was Tarantino’s love letter to Shaw Brothers style 70s Kung Fu flicks, Bastards is more about playing on the over the top motifs and themes of movies like The Dirty Dozen and Kelly’s Heroes rather than delving into the realities of the Second World War.

Yet, for all its good intentions and engaging premise, Inglorious Bastards never really captures the frenetic energy, pacing, or action of classic 60s war movies like The Dirty Dozen (a film which is undoubtedly Tarantino’s template and key influence in Bastards). In fact, for what’s essentially a war movie, the script is surprisingly short on action. Instead, its plagued heavily by the same rambling dialogue we saw in Death Proof – most of which ever fails to pay off in any meaningful way – and is ripe with scenes filled with characters that are either unlikable or never really developed (including the Basterds themselves).

Yes, despite being a huge fan of Tarantino’s films, I have to say that I was incredibly underwhelmed by the script for Inglorious Bastards. Still, the film is only weeks away from shooting and a lot can happen during the time it takes for a story to make the transition from script to the big screen, so I’m willing to give the script the benefit of the doubt. Because if Quentin Tarantino has taught us anything, it’s that when it comes to filmmaking in the face of criticism, sometimes it takes a bastard to get the job done.

Adam Volk is a wannabe screenwriter trying desperately to break into the industry and cram his hack drivel down Hollywood’s gaping maw. Each week he examines one aspect from the wonderfully demented world of screenwriting.

As an obsessive compulsive movie geek I’d like to think that I have some abstract sense as to what’s going on when it comes to the wacky world of Hollywood screenwriting. After all, I read my monthly issue of Script and CS magazines, drool over the weekly Script Girl video updates, and pour through the daily rumours and ramblings on the interweb. Yet for all my attempts to try and stay on top of screenwriting news, one mysterious name seems to keep cropping over and over again: Justin Marks.

Yes, these days it seems I can’t do a random Google search without seeing the guy’s name mentioned in passing half a dozen times. I flip through an issue of Variety and there he is again. The very next day MTV.com is busy pimping out his latest script -– hell the guy even appeared on a panel at this year’s Comic-Con! Yes, everywhere I look there’s Justin fucking Marks! Just who the hell is this guy?

Well, as it turns out Marks has become the de facto go-to screenwriter when it comes to some of the biggest franchises in geekdom, inking major six figure deals with Warner Bros., 20th Century Fox and Rogue Pictures – and he’s done it all without having a single script ever produced into a feature length film. So I decided to do a little digging to see what I could find out about the enigmatic Mr. Marks. For all the positive buzz about his screenplays the guy maintains the kind of low profile normally employed by Osama bin Laden and Howard Hughes during his crazy urine-collecting phase. From what little I could find about his past, it turns out that Marks started out as a production assistant on a few films, had his name attached to a couple of shorts and spec scripts, and was eventually discovered by the wife of legendary filmmaker and geek hero David Goyer. So just who is Justin Marks?

Well, about the only thing we do know about him is that he’s written a hell of a lot screenplays, so let’s start there. First up for Marks is the soon-to-be-released Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li. Based on the classic 90s arcade brawler (and wisely washing its hands of the original Jean-Claude van Damme adaptation), the film is being produced by 20th Century Fox, is directed by action virtuoso Andrzej Bartkowiak and is slated for a release in early 2009. The film stars Smallville actress Kristin Kreuk as femme fatale ass-kicker Chun-Li, along with co-stars Neal McDonough, Chris Klein, Michael Clarke Duncan and…ugggg….Black Eyed Peas singer Taboo.

Okay, so in terms of a first produced feature it doesn’t exactly inspire confidence in Marks’ abilities (or judgement in taking on new projects). After all, most fans are still left with a distinctive jizz-like taste in their mouths after the last time Street Fighter appeared on the big screen. Also, I as much as I loved rocking SF: II on my Super NES back in the day, I’ve never felt that the game had all that much source material to draw on. I mean, essentially it’s just a bunch of super-powered freaks beating the living shit out of each other and aside from the characters pulling fire balls and energy blasts out of their asses and occasionally yelling “Hadouken!”, the game’s story isn’t exactly Citizen Kane. That being said, I’m willing to give Marks the benefit of the doubt. After all, writing a video game adaptation is always going to be an uphill battle (thank you Uwe Boll), so I’ll hold off before I pass judgment on it… even though deep down I suspect the film is going to reek worse than Blanka after a night of binging on tequila fizzies and Brazilian prostitutes.

Marks may have better luck with his script for another 20th Century Fox film — Voltron: Defender of the Universe. Yes, Hollywood seems to be in the early stages of glutting itself on a wave of 80s cartoon nostalgia, which has obviously worked out for Marks as he was brought on once again to pen an adaptation. Personally, I don’t remember much about the original cartoon series other than crapping myself as a kid watching a bunch of giant lion robots blow shit up in space. The film however, sounds like a radical departure from the campy overtones of the cartoon series and is described as a “a post-apocalyptic tale set in New York City and Mexico” following the exploits of “five ragtag survivors of an alien attack [who] band together and end up piloting the five lion-shaped robots that combine and form the massive sword-wielding Voltron that helps battle Earth’s invaders.” The film also seems to be getting some serious traction under it, particularly now that indie director Max Makowski has been brought on board. Even more promising though is that Latino Review – respectable fanboy critics in their own right – gave Marks script a solid A+ rating, declaring that it is a “fucking masterpiece”. Will it live up to the hype? Only time will tell.

As if one 80s cartoon franchise adaptation wasn’t enough, Marks has also been brought on by Warner Bros. to pen a script for He-Man entitled Grayskull: The Masters of the Universe. Again, Latino Review called the script a “fanboy masterpiece” and said the film is a dark PG-13 style sword and sandal blend of fantasy and science fiction which they described as “LORD OF THE RINGS meets THE MATRIX and a little BATMAN BEGINS thrown in for good measure”. Marks also elaborated on the script in an interview with ToyFare magazine which makes the film sound even more promising. Currently, there’s no director or cast attached to the project, although Joel Silver’s name has been bandied about along with Brad Pitt and Gerard Butler looking to fill Prince Adam’s loin cloth. If Marks’ script is any indication though, the flick sounds like it could be pretty damn cool — at least, as long as they don’t include that little floating fucker Orko.

Next up for Marks is the superhero action-flick Green Arrow: Escape from Super Max. Out of all Marks’ many screenplays, I’ve got to say this is one that has the fanboy in me desperately hoping it: (a) gets made and (b) doesn’t get horribly mauled by Hollywood in the process. The script started out as a spec of sorts with David Goyer and Warner Bros. recently helping the project get some traction. The script is also a radical departure from most superhero films in that it introduces lesser known DC hero the Green Arrow (a.k.a. billionaire-archer Oliver Queen). Rather than follow his origin story and early adventures however, Super Max skips the foreplay and jumps straight into the action as the Green Arrow is framed for a crime he didn’t commit and incarcerated in a prison housing the DC Universe’s most dangerous super-powered villains. Queen must then find a way to escape and clear his good name in the process. If that doesn’t have the comic book fanboy in you creaming your pants in excitement –- brother, nothing will.

If Marks hasn’t been busy enough over the past year, Rogue Pictures has also brought him on board to write an adaptation of Hack/Slash, the popular Devils Due comic book series created by Tim Seeley and Stefano Caselli. The series follows protagonist Cassie Hack in her quest to hunt down homicidal maniacs and serial killers, known as “slashers”. Marks’ version reportedly contains heavy doses of comedy and horror with newcomer Todd Lincoln directing and Transformers hottie Megan Fox allegedly in talks to play the lead. Despite my comic geek background, I’m ashamed to say I haven’t actually read the series before, but the premise of a hot chick hunting down serial killers does sound pretty damn cool. Run, Dexter, run!!!!

Finally, Marks recently announced that he’s shopping around an untitled big-budget SF script which he describes as thematically similar to Children of Men. Marks had this to say about the project: “It deals with man’s exploration of the universe. I grew up on 2001, Alien, Aliens, Alien 3 even, are movies that I kind of love, but they have kind of steered science fiction towards horror. I want to bring the genre of space travel back to contemporary science fiction. The movie starts with a murder in zero gravity and goes from there.” Again, it sounds like it could be a pretty cool flick and with Marks’ current reputation there’s a damn good chance someone will snatch it up.

So who is Justin Marks? Well if the above films are any indication, he may just be the last great fanboy hope when it comes to turning classic geek franchises into cinematic gold.

Back in the dark, primordial days of early Hollywood, Jack Warner, the now legendary fat-cat founder of Warner Bros. Studios, famously declared that screenwriters were nothing more than “schmucks with Underwoods” (in reference to the state-of-the-art Underwood typewriters employed at the time). And while the craft and business of screenwriting has undoubtedly changed since papa Jack’s time, the truth is that screenwriters are still generally treated like the Hollywood equivalent of a urinal cake: no matter how hard they try to keep things fresh, they inevitably end up getting whizzed on.

Okay, so maybe my horrible urinary-tract style metaphor is a little on the extreme side, but the fact of the matter is Hollywood has maintained a long and proud tradition of marginalizing, neglecting and occasionally even abusing its screenwriters. It’s a tradition which came to a head last year during the messy Mexican stand-off that was the writers strike; a situation which resulted in countless film and television productions being dropped faster than Harvey Weinstein’s last colonic. Officially, the strike was fuelled by the WGA’s desire for a slice of the increasingly lucrative new media pie, but there’s little doubt that writers were equally driven by pent up frustrations after years of mistreatment and mismanagement at the hands of Hollywood studios.

Of course, eventually the strike was resolved, freeing audiences from overexposure to the terrifying “outside world” and brain aneurysm-inducing reruns of Let’s Make a Deal, but the strike also served to reinforce the general contempt Hollywood seems to have for its scribes. And while the majority of film and television audiences were clearly in support of the writers (if for no other reason than to watch new episodes of Battlestar Galactica and Lost), even after the frenzied media blitz last year, most people are still blissfully unaware of what screenwriters really do, or for that matter, who they even are. In fact, ask your standard John or Joan Q. North American who their favourite screenwriter is and chances are they’d be hard pressed to name even one screenwriter, let alone pick a favourite. Meanwhile actors, directors and even the occasional producer, bask in the adoration of the masses while writers generally remain a little known quantity in the entertainment industry — with the exception of the occasional Diablo Cody or Joe Eszterhas appearing as the screenwriting raison d’être.

So why exactly are screenwriters mistreated and ignored by both Hollywood and the movie-going public alike? The obvious answer is the nature of writing itself. Writing is after all, a solitary and highly introverted profession and in the case of screenwriting, with the exception of an occasional collaboration between writers (or a handful of writers in the case of some television scribes), the screenwriting process generally consists of some poor bastard sitting alone in front of a blank page chugging Pepto-Bismol and bourbon and trying desperately to create something that people will actually want to see. It’s a strange and highly personal process and one that also varies from screenwriter to screenwriter. Sure anyone can pick apart the plot and the characters, but only the writer really understands the process and challenges of developing that particular script. What’s more, like any art form, screenplays are also highly subjective with one man’s Citizen Kane being another’s Battlefield Earth. As a result, Hollywood executives and the public remain generally clueless about what goes into screenwriting or for that matter what actually makes a good screenplay (all of which explains the millions of dollars Hollywood spends each year simply optioning screenplays that are never made into films). Is it any wonder then that studio executives are suspicious of writers, viewing them as a necessary evil at best and a parasitic life form at worst?

The negative and overlooked perception of screenwriters gets even stickier when you stop and consider that writing itself often seems like an effortless task. After all, reading and writing are something most of us do on a daily basis, regardless of our profession, and for most people it seems all too easy to try and hop a ride on the writer gravy train. That in and of itself isn’t such a bad thing – after all, even the most successful screenwriter has to start somewhere – but it would also explain why an entire industry has conveniently cropped up based on the idea that anyone can become a screenwriter; with countless books, seminars, magazines and DVD sets flooding shelves in an effort to convince would-be screenwriters that they too can become a Hollywood wordsmith. For many people it’s as simple as taking Robert McKee’s legendary “Story” seminar or reading Screenwriting for Dummies and then assuming they’ll be the next Tarantino. It also doesn’t help that there are indeed plenty of shitty movies out there with scripts that seem to have been written by mildly-autistic crack addicts (Daddy Day Camp, anyone?). The end result however, is a poisonous concoction of ignorance, exploitation and Hollywood flops that only adds to the public misconception and devaluing of talented professional screenwriters.

This also ties in directly to the concept of implementation. Unlike a novel, a screenplay isn’t the end product; rather it’s more of a blueprint which directors, producers, actors and crew members use to create a complete film. In this sense, a screenplay is for all intents and purposes, only a small part of the film making process (albeit an important one). It’s easy then for Hollywood studios to overlook the screenwriter as only one cog in the wheel of production, particularly when they’re managing A-list directors and actors, multi-million dollar budgets and international marketing campaigns. Translating a script onto the big screen however, can also mean that an initially great script can become pure cinematic garbage once it’s out of a screenwriters hands. Case in point: screenwriter Vincent Ngo’s script for the recent Will Smith super hero flick Hancock. The initial script (originally optioned in 1996 when it was entitled Tonight, He Comes) has been systematically picked apart, chewed up and spit back together again by countless additional screenwriters and Hollywood execs resulting in a finished shooting script far different (and some would argue, significantly shittier) than the one Ngo originally wrote. For good or for ill, transforming a screenplay into a feature film is a difficult and demanding process and as an unfortunate side effect it often means that Hollywood views writers as an expendable and exploitable resource.

It also doesn’t help that both studios and the movie going public see writers as pampered artists, cranking out scripts for huge pay outs — an image that’s been exacerbated over the years (particularly in the early 90s) by high profile screenwriters like Shane Black who were often paid millions for a single treatment. In point of fact, screenwriters like Black are the exception that proves the rule. Take the 2007 annual Hollywood Writers Report, a study commissioned last year by the WGA to determine the state of employment and earning among writers. The report found that feature film writers earned, on average, roughly $90,000 USD a year, which in Los Angeles is probably the equivalent of most studio executive’s annual frappuccino budget. That’s not to say there aren’t screenwriters getting paid insane amounts of cash for their work; it’s just that the majority of Hollywood screenwriters (including those on the picket lines during last year’s strike) seem to be getting by on only a relatively modest income.

Maybe being a wannabe screenwriter has clouded my judgment and I’m lavishing far too much praise on Hollywood scribes. After all, these are individuals who are paid to write movies, something which a lot of us I suspect, can only dream of. Yet, simply because screenwriters work in what’s often perceived as an glamorous industry shouldn’t detract from the notion that they be fairly compensated and recognized for their work. The truth is that the majority of Hollywood screenwriters are dedicated, talented and hardworking in addition to being underpaid and overlooked; a far cry from the “schmucks with Underwoods” label Jack Warner unfairly applied decades ago. But while it’s easy to be pessimistic about the screenwriting profession, if last year’s strike is any indication things may indeed be changing for the better. That’s not to say there isn’t a long, hard road ahead in order for writers to gain the respect and financial security they deserve, but if screenwriters have taught us anything it’s that the most impressive changes of all can start with nothing more than a single word…

Hello and welcome to the first installment of Screenplay Junkie, your weekly look at the schizophrenic world of Hollywood screenwriters. I’m your columnist Adam Volk, film school reject, comic and video game geek and unabashed screenplay junkie. By day I work as a writer for a small Canadian video game developer, by night I’m a wannabe screenwriter trying desperately to break into the industry and cram my hack drivel down Hollywood’s gaping maw.

So what can you expect to see here each week? The answer is probably best summed up by the old theory that postulates a thousand monkeys working on a thousand typewriters could somehow create the world’s greatest novel. Hollywood of course, seems to have adopted this model head on and when you stop and consider some of the cinematic travesties unloaded on unsuspecting audiences, it’s not too hard to imagine chimp feces cluttering the floors of the writer’s room at most Hollywood studios. Of course, there are also some decidedly non-simian writers working in the industry. Screenplay Junkie is all about exploring the overgrown jungles of Hollywood and separating the primates from the predators when it comes to the strange world of screenwriting. Along the way we’ll check out the latest in screenplay reviews and news, take a look at some of the upcoming screenwriters in both LA-LA land and abroad and examine films both past and present from a screenwriting perspective.

Of course, a column is only as good as its readers, so that’s where you come in. Got something to say? Have a comment, column suggestion or rant you’d like to make. Feel free to drop me a line at: adamjvolk@rogers.com or better yet, post a comment here on Film Junk.

So welcome to Screenplay Junkie, the place to be for your soon-to-be weekly dose of Hollywood screenwriting goodness. Let the monkey poo-flinging begin!