Film Junk Premium Podcast #37: The Twilight Saga

Posted by on March 5th, 2015   Filed under: Featured, Film Junk Podcast, Premium Podcast

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Well, you asked for it and you got it! After years of quietly avoiding the Twilight series, we were finally forced to sink our teeth into this mopey and mostly despised teen vampire soap opera. But does it really deserve all the flack it gets? In a word, yes. We attempt to tackle such weighty topics as the acting capabilities of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, the idea of Bella as a role model for young women, the long-lasting cultural appeal of vampires and the terrifying animatronic baby that they chose not to use. We also nitpick the logic of Stephenie Meyer’s mythology and the “whitewashing” of vampires. So why do werewolves always have their shirts off? How do vampires sustain an erection? Which members of the Film Junk crew are on Team Edward and Team Jacob? This month’s premium podcast is your own personal brand of heroin… inject it into your veins below.

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This series of premium podcasts was created to help support the regular weekly Film Junk Podcast. Head on over to Bandcamp and download full episodes for a minimum donation of just $1. As always, let us know if you experience any technical difficulties or if you have any other suggestions for future specials. Thanks for your support!



  • devolutionary

    I certainly never asked for it, but will diligently download anyways. I’m hoping that Jay provides us with plenty of fine Robert Pattinson impersonations.

  • LordAwesome

    I’m sure this will be filled to the brim with sexist Frank.

  • I recently watched these with my girlfriend, I feel your pain fellas. I’ll give a little extra for this one.

  • Sam

    Lucky you. I forced myself through all 5 of them. Things I do in order to follow along with these premiums.

  • Essie

    Thank you.

    I think saying teenagers in John Hughes movies don’t talk like teenagers but the ones in Twilight, obnoxiously, do is pretty false. It just speaks to you guys being able to relate to the teenage lingo of a time period you are familiar with and maybe even grew up in. I’m sure 35 year olds at the time found the language in those films eye rolling too.

  • Indianamcclain

    I was about to do the same but I couldn’t muster up any interest to do that.

  • Colin

    Have and will never watch any of these, but I’m going to enjoy the hell out of listening to you dudes shit all over them!

  • Sam

    I rarely ever laugh out loud, but Sean suggesting the combination of Carlyle and Charlie for “Reneesme’s” middle name to be “Charlyle” instead of “Carly” was great.

  • Thurston

    Thank you for your brave sacrifice Sean, Jay and Frank. I will bow my head and observe a moment of silence for your efforts. You have truly seen some gnarly shit dudes. A friend of mine only made it 2 movies deep and had to call it quits. He still has night terrors and wakes up screaming in a cold sweat.

  • So if Edward cannot control himself when he is having sex and is afraid to hurt Bella, why not just chain himself to the bed and let her do all the work?

  • pcch7

    In answer to Franks query. Terry Porter from Porter Ridge always has his shirt off and I’m definitely on his team.

    http://blog.nwautos.com/ww-3-porter-ridge.jpg

  • pcch7

    Cam Gigandet is the worst btw.

  • pcch7

    Haha, let it out Frank. That one was for all the moms out there =D

  • devolutionary

    Cause she’s too busy chompin’ on a cucumber. You know, it’s her “thing”.

  • Maybe Edward is making her practice? “For the millionth time, I’ve told you not to bite, Bella!”

  • mlcgcs

    The movies are bad, but I think a lot of conversation can come from these. I watched these with a girlfriend and was shocked at how bad a role model Bella is to teenage girls, especially when Edward continually tells her how dangerous he is and her only response is she does not care because she loves him. I was shocked. Many other issues about these movies as well that can lead to good discussion (the second film, production wise, is the worst big budget blockbuster i have ever seen). I am really looking forward to listening to you guys and appreciate you forcing yourself through these.

  • mlcgcs

    Another question, did you guys pick a March premium yet? Not sure if its discussed in this one, just wondering. Thanks again!

  • Gustavo

    Only wachted the first one. I’ll never watch the rest, but I’m bying this just for the lol

  • Sean

    We decided to move Fast & Furious to March and we’ll be announcing the April premium shortly.

  • Captain Morgan

    Frank’s outburst: funniest Film Junk moment in a long time. Loved it.

  • John Abides

    I’m a little annoyed to see when a movie comes out that is female focused and all that gets discussed is how bad a role model the main character is. Since when is that the metric we use to judge movies? James Bond? Walter White? Batman? I would say the norm is for bad role models across all movies and TV.

    Twilight is fantasy, on more than just the vampire level. It’s a romantic fantasy, and is totally unrealistic. As long as the audience is able to separate fantasy and reality (they way I can do with all the bad role models I see in movies) then there is no problem.

  • John Abides

    Twas an enjoyable premium, but I think the common narrative about the movie promoting abstinence is incorrect. Bella, our protagonist, really wants to fuck. She’s clearly lusting after Edward in every frame of the film and is always pushing him to put out. But he’s the one who’s having to control the progress of their sexual relationship. This is not how the abstinence narrative works. Women are supposed to be in control and the men are the lustful ones. Sure, the movie/books wait a long time to get to the actual sex, but not because Bella was reticent or unwilling to do it outside of wedlock. Edward was the conventional one.

    I might as well just quote FilmCritHulk cause he said it best. “BECAUSE TWILIGHT PREACHES ABSTINENCE THE SAME WAY AN AMSTERDAM PEEP SHOW BOOTH WOULD. SURE THERE’S A LAYER OF GLASS TECHNICALLY SEPARATING YOU FROM GOING OVER THERE AND JUST HAVING ALL KINDS OF FREAKY AND EVIL SEX, BUT IN ALL OTHER RELATIVE EMOTIONAL, VISCERAL, AND CEREBRAL CONTEXTS YOU’RE EFFECTIVELY GETTING YOUR SEX ON.”

    There’s an excellent couple of articles a writer from Complex composed on tumblr that bring an interesting perspective on the film series and the criticism that surrounds it.

    1) http://ontheoriginofsparkles.tumblr.com/
    2) http://through-a-glass-sparkly.tumblr.com/

    She references a Film Crit Hulk article that is also excellent, although that one is also freaking huge (as his frequently are). There’s a lot of interesting stuff in how these movies are discussed, even if the movies themselves are rather lacking.

  • Sean

    I think it is mainly because Twilight is aimed at teens and young women and it also happens to deal with sex, relationships and intimacy. But it’s true that there are plenty of movies aimed at male teens that are also just as bad and not criticized as much.

  • Kasper

    Awesome premium. Worth every cent!

  • scab

    I love you stupid pricks, but I can’t force enough enthusiasm to download this.