Greg’s 2010 TIFF Report: Day 6

A child molester and a little boy go for a walk and they end up heading towards the woods. They go into the woods and go deeper and deeper and it gets darker and darker and they get further and further from the road. The little boy looks up at the child molester and says: “Mister, I’m really scared.” The child molester says: “You think you’re scared? I gotta walk outta here all by myself.”

Just a couple of movies today because my friend Torie is making me dinner, so I needed my evening free.

I head down to the big AMC theatre for my first film and there’s a well dressed man in the middle of the Yonge and Gerrard intersection. He is yelling at the top of his lungs to anyone who will listen about the plight of the city of Toronto. Apparently, there’s a lot wrong with this town. I could have told you that. The hockey team sucks, the soccer team sucks, the baseball team sucks, the football team sucks, the basketball team sucks, and there’s too much traffic. However, I have enjoyed my stay for the most part.

First up today is a horror movie called Insidious. A family moves into a house that is haunted. There are scares, chills, thrills, twists and turns. Directed by James Wan. He directed Saw. It stars Patrick Wilson and Rose Byrne and you know what? It wasn’t bad at all. I’m not the biggest horror movie fan and most horror films nowadays are garbage. The Strangers was really good. The remake of Friday the 13th was fun. Rob Zombie’s movies aren’t bad…except Halloween II. Drag Me To Hell was amazing. Mostly though…they aren’t good. The opening and closing title sequences of Insidious are totally old-school and great. If you’re a horror fan, I’d definitely check this one out. It surprised me.

In between films I decide to catch a bite. I head over to W Burger on the recommendation of my friend Krista and this girl Emily I met at the wing place Wednesday night. Had a lamb burger and it was awesome. Real poutine on the side too.

The other film I saw today was I Saw The Devil a Korean film by Ji-woon Kim. He directed The Good, The Bad, the Weird back in 2008. The pregnant wife of a secret service agent is brutally raped, murdered and chopped up by a psychopath and the agent gets his revenge. This is the ultimate revenge film. The agent captures, beats and tortures the villain and then lets him go only to catch and beat him over and over again. I saw the uncut version of this film. The Korean film board demanded it be cut as this movie was deemed to be offensive to human dignity. There is a lot and I mean a lot of excessive gory violence almost to the point of being hilarious. When you show a man’s Achilles tendon being cut out up close? That’s gory and painful to watch. I liked it quite a bit as it gave me plenty of ideas for revenge against those who have wronged me.

Headed over to Torie’s for a home-cooked meal (It was awesome) and a few rousing games of Bananagrams (it’s an intense Scrabble battle on steroids) and I’m calling it an early night. I think I have 4 movies tomorrow.

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  • Jackson

    Greg, I have been reading your irrelevant dribble for a week
    now but today’s was too ridiculous not to
    comment on. Your child molester joke (which I am familiar with and have long thought is one of the most offensive jokes I’ve ever heard) had no place being in your column. Not only is the joke disgusting but more importantly it had absolutely nothing to
    do with a film festival review. I suppose I’m not surprised, more than half of your boring reports have had nothing to do with films anyways.

  • Greg’s reports are a thing of art. He is a machine of wonder.

  • Fatbologna

    Awwwww, Sewious film enthusiast is SO sewious! He don’t wike jokes and such… Fuck off, Jackson.

  • Fatbologna

    Btw,

    I Saw The Devil sounds like my blood filled cup o’ tea!

  • Kasper

    Another great report Greg, just ignore Jackson. Haters gonna hate, yo.

  • Paul Andrews

    Thanks for the reports Greg. You’ve done a sterling job.

  • rot

    actually the Child Molester joke does belong, its a joke In Blue Valentine, although he never mentioned seeing it.

  • Chris

    Jackson’s just pissed because he got lost in the woods on his way out.

    I, however, continue to love these reports.

  • Chris’ comment FOR! THE! WIN!

  • Greg

    @Rot – Dead on. I did mention I saw it the day before though.

    @Filmjunk Universe – Thanks for the kind words. Nobody here thinks I give a flying fuck about what Jackson said do you?

    I find it most hilarious that he hates my writing yet has read EVERY SINGLE ONE. Thanks for reading, Jacko. Next one is dedicated to you.