Greg’s 2010 TIFF Report: Day 5

I’m having trouble thinking of a good opening line.

I suppose that’ll do.

I head towards downtown for another day of TIFF and I’m right behind a guy walking two terriers. I’m immediately reminded of the Kids in the Hall song: Terriers. “Terrier is my very favourite breed”…anybody? Bueller? . Inside the subway station, Pizza Pizza is selling slices for a dollar. This happens every year. I have to say that it’s not fair to sell hot pizza for such a cheap price and being a fat guy with a healthy appetite makes it even less fair. Luckily, I had just flossed, brushed my teeth and used Total Care Listerine. I still had that minty breath and pizza would not be a good idea. My dentist told me to use that Total Care stuff. She’s super cute, so I’d pretty much do whatever she said.

On the way to the theatre, I text my friend Jill to see if she’s in town and we discuss meeting for a movie on Saturday before my 9pm film that night. 10 minutes later I get a text from an unknown number that reads “I was thinking about rush lining for Afterlife or Little White Lies, but I’m open to suggestions for something before your 9pm movie.”. At first, I couldn’t figure out why Jill would text me from a different phone, so I responded with “Who is this?” I get a reply that says: “Nelson, I’m here with Steve and Abe.” I don’t know anybody named Nelson, I know a few Steves and one Abe, but none of them have a 613 area code. So, how fucking weird is that? What are the odds that someone would accidentally text me, who are also at the film festival and who also wanted to see something on Saturday afternoon before a 9pm film? I did not accidentally text them first, I just replied to Jill’s text. I think that’s creepy and it’s still kinda bothering me.

Today, I was pumped to see my first film. A documentary called The Promise: The Making of Darkness of the Edge of Town. Quite a bit of time passed after Springsteen released Born To Run. There were some legal troubles with his friend and manager about his next album. Basically, The Boss wanted full control but his contract allowed his manger to have veto power on where and when to record and who in fact would do the recording. 3 years later, Springsteen had full control and he and the E Street Band went in to record their fourth album, Darkness on the Edge of Town. This is where the movie begins. In the 3 years, Bruce had written more than 70 songs. Some would later appear on his album the River or his boxed set Tracks and some even became hits for other artists. Patti Smith had her only hit with Because The Night and the Pointer Sisters had a huge hit with Fire. The movie is about the recording process and the song choice and features interviews with the band, producers, engineers and Springsteen himself.

Next up, I have some time to kill so I check out the new George Clooney film, The American. Clooney plays an assassin who is hiding out in Italy to complete one last job of designing and building a gun for a fellow assassin to complete a contract killing. He falls for an Italian prostitute which complicates matters and he is forced to make a decision that could have repercussions on his life. I’m a fan of Clooney, but this movie was just okay. There was something missing, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. What made it worse was the couple sitting in the row in front of me talking away. When you go to a movie you only have to do two things: turn off your phone and shut your fucking mouth. It boggles my mind that this is still an issue. I understand that sometimes a phone can ring because you forgot to turn it off, but when people text or talk on their phone or talk to each other without whispering, it really irritates me. So, I ‘shushed’ them. 20 minutes later they started talking again, so I got up, walked over behind them, sat down, leaned forward and whispered: “I’m only going to ask you once. Please be quiet.” I was polite, calm, and maybe a little menacing, but it got the job done.

Before my last film, I decided to grab some non-pizza dinner and went for wings. There’s a place on Yonge called ‘Let’s Wing It”. The hottest sauce they have is a Level 5 Kamikaze 911 sauce. I ask for 10 wings with that sauce and a basket of sweet potato fries. Before they come out, the bartender (I’m sitting at the bar) comes over and says: ‘Do you want them really spicy or do you want to be able to eat them?” I said: “Really spicy”. They come out and by the third wing, I’m sweating. By the fourth, my nose is running. Before the fifth wing, my eyes are watering. Let me tell you this: I’ve eaten a lot of spicy food. I’ve had many kinds of spicy hot wings. These wings were the most intense thing I’ve ever had. By the 10th, I thought I was going to vomit. The “Burning Down the House” wings at the House of Wings, which are the hottest they offer had the spice level of a green pepper compared to these. The bartender and cook seemed really proud when I told them I had never experienced anything like that. The cook said the hottest level of sauce they go to on the menu is a Level 5. He made me a Level 7. I ate wings that they don’t offer to the general public. Food should never make anyone cry. Before I get a ton of e-mails about it, no I never have any ‘issues’ the following morning.

My last film today was Blue Valentine. A drama starring Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams as a married couple who are going through some relationship troubles. The film flashes back to better times and has some humour to it, mostly from Gosling. I figured when the shining lights of TV’s Breaker High and Dawson’s Creek (two awesome shows, by the way) get together I’d have something special. Gosling and Williams were both great, but there just wasn’t anything to the movie. Two great performances in a lacklustre film. I was surprised by the amount of nudity by Michelle Williams. Pleasantly surprised.

Is it bad that I can’t remember what I’m seeing tomorrow? Oh, and happy birthday Heidi Montag. You’re a plastic, no-talent, wanna-be celebrity skank and you looked way better before.

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  • You know those mornings where you just want to watch TV, eat corn chips and masturbate? Sure you do…

  • Greg, I didn’t know you were a fan of Dawson’s Creek! We have something in common.

  • Zoo

    I’m with you on the terriers song Greg :)

    -“I was surprised by the amount of nudity by Michelle Williams. Pleasantly surprised.”
    Adding Blue Valentine to my “movies to see list”.

    Jimmy Fallon tweeted that he wished Montag a happy birthday and that parts of her had turned 24 years old.

  • Brendan

    @Greg: I hate having to ask people to quiet down in a movie. Last time it happened was at Inception, where someone was talking directly behind me, which is though because you have to turn around to do it. I tried just turning and giving a look a couple times, but the third time I just said “Would you please be quiet?” It worked, which is good, because my instinct is usually to yell “Shut the fuck up!” And the guy was asking his friend what was going on in the movie. Just shut up and listen and you’d probably know what’s going on!
    It always sucks when someone talks or interferes with the movie somehow. If you don’t say anything to them, it takes you out of the film, but that also happens if you do say something.