Bad news. Platinum Dunes’ remake of The Monster Squad is getting ever closer to actually happening. It was announced this week that the writing team of Mark and Brian Gunn have officially been hired to pen the script. If the news was that the screenplay was being written by James Gunn (who is Brian’s brother and Mark’s cousin), I’d actually be all for it, but Mark and Brian’s best credit is Bring It On Again. Yeah, that’s right, Bring It On Again. Let’s just hope that a little James rubbed off on these guys when they were working on his PG Porn webisodes. More after the jump…

Rob Cohen, producer/executive producer of the original film, has always been attached to produce, but it was recently confirmed that rumors of Cohen’s intention to direct are also true. Fred Dekker, co-writer/director of the original film gave this statement to Eric Vespe at Ain’t It Cool News back in March when the remake was first announced:

“It would be one thing if another filmmaker wanted to soil my sandbox…but if it weren’t for Rob Cohen, the original movie would never have been made. So, I don’t begrudge him wanting to play in his on sandbox. I wish him well and thank him for the opportunity he gave me in the first place.”

I’m not buying it. The original film was a passion project for Dekker. I don’t believe that he would allow this to happen if he had any say in the matter. The fact is, Dekker has been in movie jail for more than a decade, his last real credit being 1993’s Robocop 3, and he couldn’t stop this if he tried. The thing that bugs me is that Rob Cohen’s track record isn’t much better. Yes, I know that Cohen’s The Fast and the Furious was a very popular movie and yes, I know that many serious film watchers consider it to be a quality action film, but those people are wrong.

In fact, the elements that suck about The Fast and The Furious are exactly the things I was worried about Platinum Dunes ruining. The original Monster Squad is an earnest, enthusiastic, whimsical love letter to classic monster movies…and it was made for children. Platinum Dunes is known for making slick, brutal, soulless versions of classic horror flicks. This is not a good match. Let’s face it, the pre-pubescent innocents of the original are destined to be replaced by sexed-up, oiled-down, barely-legal teens with eight packs.

And did anyone at Platinum Dunes remember that the other screenwriter on the original film was none other than Shane Black? Shane Black! How can you compete with that? Is anyone excited for this movie?