A group of thugs abduct and torture two young girls before taking refuge from a storm in the home of one of their victims. When the girl’s parents learn of the crime, they decide to commit some atrocities of their own.

With just about every iconic horror film getting an update, it was only a matter of time before The Last House On The Left would be considered. The only question remaining being what form this notorious revenge film would take 37 years later, when something as brutal as the original probably wouldn’t see the light of day.

Some scholars believe that the myth of the werewolf arose in part due to a need to explain the deeds of history’s earliest serial killers. It was inconceivable that a normal man could commit such crimes. The criminals in The Last House On The Left remind me of that theory, wolves in ratty sheep’s clothing awkwardly straining to contain their bestial desires. The innocents fare no better in containing their rage, uncontrollable vulgarities sputtering out of the mouths of the upper class as they deal with the horror laid out before them.

I tried to watch the remake of The Last House On The Left as if I had never seen the original, but that lasted all of five minutes. As a polished piece of celluloid horror, I think 2009 version of The Last House On The Left works just fine, with a surprising tendency towards suspense over jump scares, and small, relatable injuries over gore. Coincidences from the original are given explanation and characters are more sharply defined. But strangely, by making the remake more realistic it inadvertently becomes less mythic, with the characters slipping into their roles far too quickly whereas in the original both the killers and the victims struggled against their destinies.

There’s something to be said for a film that decides not to reach beyond its grasp. The latest version of Last House On The Left is one of the better crafted horror movies to come out of Hollywood in the past few years, and is worth catching if you’re a fan of the genre. But as with most remakes, expect diminishing returns.

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