Geeks always champion shaky propositions. Their slightly off-center dress code comes to mind. Their wanton mastery of the obscure is another. And of course there’s the subject at hand – Watchmen. In this movie (based on the comic book novel) they try to compensate for their perceived shortage of props by investing philosophical import into an arguably lightweight achievement.

In this case, Alan Moore, the author of the novel did come up with a high concept for an underdog genre. His portrayal of the various Watchmen characters turned the super hero mythos inside out, exposing their assorted afflictions while making them more relevant and compelling. Like all good polemicists, Moore used the emotional anxiety of his times (the Cold War, the fear of nuclear Armageddon) to give his philosophical observations force. And he relentlessly projected a brutish and dismal characterization of humankind throughout the narrative. Is it any wonder his story was enthusiastically adopted by our fringanista friends? When you expose the nastiness of humanity long enough and loud enough, for them it’s a knee-jerk fist-pump (you know what I mean).

So what’s the problem with Watchmen? First, it’s too white – it has no soul. It’s like the movie director — Zack Snyder — is a journalist reporting on the story of the Watchmen. All the facts are there but there’s no life, no emotion, and consequently no connection with the audience. It’s all white bread America and so is the movie’s tone.

There are a number of factors that contribute to this “journalistic distance”. First and foremost, the original story’s driving impulse is so much a part of its time. It powerfully fuels both Moore’s creative and story ideas but at the risk that a decade or two down the road, the ideas are either obsolete or worse yet, copied to death. Unfortunately Moore’s story and the movie suffer from this creeping obsolescence. It keeps the audience at arm’s length. Believe me, today’s threats are just as horrifying but our times have a different cast of characters and so an important element of the film doesn’t connect. The alternate history device could have invigorated the story but ultimately, it’s just a head fake. We are not engaged.

Secondly and for the most part, the acting is very Lucas-ian. Aside from a brilliantly twisted turn by Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach and a compelling Bill Crudup as the quantumly conflicted Dr. Manhattan, the other performances were as flat as comic book art. I would also except Matthew Goode who slickly insinuates the all-knowing villain Ozymandias into our viewing experience with a cataclysmic solution to the big problem.

Finally, in a genuine effort to honor his source material, Snyder kept a large cast of characters and a story line that was faithful to the original. The result is too many heroes and supporting characters. Even at almost three hours, there’s not enough time to get to know them. The large cast also creates problems for the storyline alternating between slow and jumpy. Not good for story telling. Or the movie’s soundtrack which has the same highs and lows. It’s not surprising that so many proposals for filming Watchmen crashed and burned.

Like Moore’s original story, the movie scored some genre points – and missed some too. When Dr. Manhattan helps the Americans “win” in Vietnam, there’s a lovely metaphysical moment as the Viet Cong say they will only surrender to the “blue god”.

Rorschach’s mask is an object lesson in how CGI can make a character better without drawing attention to it.

As for missing opportunities, for me anyway, the Watchmen did pretty much what was expected of them – rescuing children from a burning building is Superhero 101. Dr. Manhattan’s origins were comic book conventional. His sojourn to Mars for a hyper reality check had some potential but that was lost in the weak CGI visualization of his quantum timepiece. And the conclusion confirmed that Antarctica is now the go-to location for not-quite-of-this world movie resolutions.

Sympathy has to go to Snyder. He started with a fresh idea (for its time) and a passionate (but not very large) fan base. He delivered for them but for my taste too mechanically. Really, he was caught between a rock and a hard place. Too much creative interpretation and he might spark a geekageddon. Too literal and the potential new fans will wonder what all the fuss was about.