Screenplay Junkie #7: I Heart Script Girl

Adam Volk is a wannabe screenwriter trying desperately to break into the industry and cram his hack drivel down Hollywood’s gaping maw. Each week he examines one aspect from the wonderfully demented world of screenwriting.
Remember that hot, yet surprisingly nerdy girl you used to go to high school with? You know, the kind of chick who could rock a mini-skirt and angora sweater while still quoting Star Wars and debating the finer points of old kung fu movies? Now imagine she grew up, filled out, and ended up working for a film production company in L.A. where she hosts her own popular web show, and you have something of an idea as to who and what Script Girl is all about.
For those of you who haven’t heard of her before, the busty and bespectacled Script Girl is the nom de plume of an unidentified production assistant who works for an equally unidentifiable Los Angeles studio. Finding any kind of details on the real identity of Script Girl is about as likely as figuring out who capped JFK as the girl seems to just kind of exist in the ethernet ether. Maybe she’s in the Harvey Weinstein witness protection program or refused to donate her bodily fluids to the Church of Scientology, but for whatever reason, Script Girl is keeping her real identity to herself. And hey, that’s cool.
The premise of Script Girl’s web show, however, is brilliant in its simplicity: each week she offers a detailed Hollywood script sales report highlighting which screenplays have been bought and sold and including a brief synopsis of the project and the key figures involved. Throw in plenty of humour, movie references, hilariously low budget effects and yes, T&A, and Script Girl is well on her way to becoming the biggest internet phenomenon this side of Ask a Ninja.
On the surface Script Girl could easily be mistaken as an attempt to placate lusty fanboys, but there’s little doubt that beneath her ample cleavage beats the heart of a true film geek. Peering over her desk with her Tina Fey glasses and girl next door good looks, Script Girl comments are insightful, funny and – for aspiring writers – undeniably useful. Sure her reports contain plenty of industry jargon and name dropping that only L.A. latte-suckers will find interesting, but more often than not, they’re also told with a scathingly acerbic wit, taking jabs at the ridiculous nature of Hollywood and presenting it all in a hilariously accessible format that almost anyone can enjoy.
For aspiring and professional screenwriters alike, Script Girl has become nothing short of the patron saint of Final Draft Version 7. Sure wannabe word monkeys can pour over the trades and browse Variety, but in one simple and easy to digest weekly video report, those shopping around their specs and hoping desperately to land an agent, can find out just what is (and isn’t) selling in LA-LA land. In this sense, Script Girl is more than just mindless entertainment; she’s practically a public service announcement for down on their luck wordsmiths.
Yes, Script Girl is the real deal, a smart, sexy and entertainingly insightful online force of screenplay dispensing wisdom. Maybe it’s her hipster glasses, self-deprecating humour or the way her breasts heave when she says “Benderspinkâ€, but for anyone looking for a weekly dose of screenplay sales and Hollywood insider news there’s Script Girl, a woman and a writer whose style is best summarized by the sage-like mantra she offers at the end of each report: “Remember: You Can’t Sell It if You Don’t Write Itâ€.




































































