Yes, it is most definitely a slow news week, so after hearing the wacky rumour that came out a few days ago about Rachel Weisz as Catwoman, UK rag The Sun decided it was necessary to up the ante just a little bit. This time they’ve dreamed up not one but two new casting choices that are both so outlandish, so utterly brilliant, that I, for one, wish they actually had some element of truth to them.

First off: Eddie Murphy as The Riddler. Man, this is just what Eddie needs to get himself back on top. A role in a critically-acclaimed blockbuster with an ensemble cast where he can play the funny man. Surely he would kill for such a thing, and I would love to see it, if only for the sheer controversy of having a black man portray Edward Nigma. Alas, there is no way in hell Christopher Nolan would ever let Eddie Murphy near the Batman franchise. Now for the piece de resistance: Shia LaBeouf as Robin! Hey, he made a great sidekick for Indiana Jones, why not Bruce Wayne? He could get all nervous and frazzled any time Batman pulls out a new gadget or blows something up, and make cracks about needing to get home in time to do his homework. Just genius casting, all around. Unfortunately, Christopher Nolan has said from the start that Robin will never be a part of his vision of Batman. Then again, that was before The Beef started eyeing the role. Mark my words, all it will take is one short phone call from Spielberg to make this a reality! Keep your fingers crossed folks, no one has denied any of this just yet.