First a Karate Kid remake, now a Monopoly movie? It looks like all the most insane rumours from the past year are starting to come true. Clearly ever since Obama got elected, we’ve been shifted into an alternate reality of some sort. It was reported last summer that Ridley Scott was being courted to direct a feature film based on the popular board game Monopoly. Nothing much came of it, and I think we all assumed that it was a complete fabrication, if not simply wishful thinking on the part of Hasbro.

This week, however, we now have confirmation that this project is indeed real, and that a screenwriter has been brought on board. Pamela Pettler (Corpse Bride, Monster House) has been hired to try and create some semblance of a story out of the classic real estate board game — easier said than done, no doubt. Ridley Scott has officially been confirmed as the director, and The Hollywood Reporter claims that he has “an eye toward giving it a futuristic sheen along the lines of his iconic Blade Runner“. What the hell is that supposed to mean?? Are they going for a Jumanji / Zathura type of plot, where a bunch of players get sucked into the game? In the future, do human beings hook themselves up to a virtual reality machine where they trade real estate properties and paper money all day long? I have no idea. The real kicker is that Hasbro apparently also has movies in development based on Ouija Board (which we had previously heard about) and also Battleship! Are these people for real?