Treknobabble is a continuing series of columns written by uber-Trekkie Reed Farrington in anticipation of the upcoming J.J. Abrams Star Trek movie.

I hate lists. Not really, but I hate them because I’ve read that they constitute a dumbing-down of society. In our fast-paced, short-attention-span world, lists are a convenient form to summarize anything. And many people don’t have time to delve any further as to why the items on the list deserve to be there. Or if they do, it’s only at a one-paragraph superficial level. But I’m as guilty as the rest of us. So I’ve succumbed to writing what all the Treknobabble readers have been waiting for. The Top 10 Hottest Trekkies!

Now as far as I know, no one has ever attempted to compile this list. Note that I’m not listing the top 10 hottest women who have starred or appeared in Star Trek. And because of a conflict-of-interest, I’m even going to avoid listing these women who may have supported and praised the franchise. For example, Nana Visitor, who portrayed Major Kira in Deep Space Nine, would otherwise be on my list. She has always supported Star Trek in interviews and I love her for that. Even with a Bajoran crinkly nose bridge appliance, I think she’s really attractive. (As a kid, I was taunted for having a flat, porcine nose, so I may be more accepting of facially-challenged life-forms.) Without further ado…

10. Mira Sorvino

Mira Sorvino gained attention with a Best Supporting Actress Oscar win for Woody Allen’s Mighty Aphrodite. It was on Late Night with Conan O’Brien where she talked about how much she had loved The Original Series (TOS). I have the episode on VHS videotape somewhere. I should have dug it out to review what she said. Maybe it’s on YouTube. All I can recall is that she maybe had a crush on Spock. Or maybe it was Kirk. I think Kirstie Alley once said she had a crush on Kirk.

When she later appeared on another late-night talk-show, NBC’s Last Call with Carson Daly, the host gave her a Star Trek phaser from TOS. She was clearly delighted, and focused on the phaser rather than Carson. I’m guessing the phaser was the Playmates toy version. I think she had mentioned on Conan that she had lost a phaser during a move.

Mira’s notoriety with Star Trek apparently got her chosen to present Star Trek with the Pop Culture Award at the 2003 TV Land Awards. Nichelle Nichols, who portrayed Uhura on TOS, had this to say: “It was so wonderful, because Mira Sorvino, this beautiful actress is an avid Star Trek fan. And she is also wonderfully and delightfully articulate. She gave the most beautiful introduction to us.”

BTW, her dad, Paul, who is also an actor, guest-starred on an episode of The Next Generation.

9. Rosario Dawson

Rosario Dawson’s notable acting stints have been in Clerks II and Tarantino’s Death Proof. Rosario is the inspiration for this Treknobabble. She has recently been getting some Trekkie love for comments she made on Conan O’Brien while promoting her comic book. (Conan O’Brien seems to have a way of outing Trekkies with his Trekdar.) I guess copyright issues have resulted in her interview with Conan being pulled from YouTube. She has said that she “got in trouble” for her comments, but I don’t know why professing a love for Star Trek would get you in trouble.

In a later UGO interview with Jenna Busch in LA, Jenna brought up her appearance on Conan. “Trekkies are like one of my favorite things,” Rosario said, “Star Trek is one of my favourite things in the world.” To explain why she loved Star Trek so much, she eloquently stated, “If we could all go to a place where we don’t have money anymore and we’re all like into science and education and exploration, I’d be very happy.”

She has gotten a reputation for speaking a little Klingon, but the only Klingon she really knows is the word for success: Quap’la. For the record, that’s the extent of my Klingon vocabulary as well, even though I have the Klingon dictionary and the audio book associated with it. Oh, I also know the Klingon worm dish, Gagh. And I use to know the Klingon for “beam me up.” (I predict that knowing that phrase in multiple languages will be today’s equivalent of knowing how to say “where’s the toilet?”.) I also used to be a member of the Klingon Language Institute. And yes, I have Hamlet in its original Klingon. (Not many people know this, but the swear word “f*ck” came from the Vulcan language, not Klingon. :-))

On IMDb, Rosario’s hobbies are reading/creating comic books, watching Star Trek, and rooting for the Boston Red Sox. IMDb’s trivia section says she is a huge fan of the Star Trek franchise, and even speaks broken Klingon language.

8. Megan Fox

For 2008, the UK-based magazine FHM has Megan Fox listed as the sexiest female in the world. She came to prominence with her co-starring role in Transformers. In July of 2008, Megan appeared at the Television Critics Association summer press tour wearing a Darth Vader t-shirt. When questioned if she was a Star Wars fan, she answered, “I’m a Star Wars fan. I’m a Star Trek fan. I’m a big nerd. I’m a big, giant comic book nerd.”

Well, that’s it folks. Ha ha. That’s all I’ve got. I was originally going to say that my picks were in no particular order, but I numbered them in order to mislead you. That the three I found were all females is not my fault. If Tom Cruise had stated in public that he loved Star Trek, I would have had him on my list. And if I thought Christian Slater was hot, I would have him on my list. My research method on the Internet was googling the keywords “Star Trek interview” with each female in FHM’s list of sexiest females. Hey, I was aiming high. (Oh, maybe that’s why there were no males on my list.) I wanted to find instances where someone actually mentioned Star Trek. No more hot Trekkies were uncovered in my research.

With the recent popularity and blockbuster status of comic book movies, some actors have been trying to get geek-cred by saying they were nerdy teenagers. They should try faking a love for Star Trek.

Kristen Bell of Veronica Mars fame supposedly frequents comic-book conventions and says she has a love of Star Wars, but she has a role in a Star Wars fan movie, so we might suspect a publicity-hound here. She’s been hanging around with the new Spock ever since she was on Heroes, but I couldn’t find any instance of her liking Star Trek itself.

If truth be known, I don’t personally know any hot Trekkies who are not celebrities. There was the one girl I met at a Star Trek convention as recounted in Treknobabbles #15-#17 What Happens at a Convention Part 1-3. But she was an anomaly, at least in my universe. If you know of any hot Trekkies, celebrity or otherwise, please do comment on this post.

Next year, if J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek does well enough to encourage sequels, maybe more celebrity Trekkies will be outed. When a celebrity endorses something, people listen.