Treknobabble is a continuing series of columns written by uber-Trekkie Reed Farrington in anticipation of the upcoming J.J. Abrams Star Trek movie.
After writing the Star Trek haiku and koan, I thought it might be fun to think of possible tag lines for the next movie. I did some research first to make sure that I didn’t come up with a tag line that had already been used. With ten movies, a lot of generic tag lines have been used up already. Conveniently, IMDb provides all the tag lines.
Some of the tag lines used for the foreign posters were foreign to me. See how many of the following you recognize:
The Motion Picture
- The Human Adventure is Just Beginning.
- There is no comparison.
- Not owning it would be illogical (DVD release).
The Wrath of Khan
- At the end of the universe lies the beginning of vengeance.
- In space, a battle is about to begin. A battle between good and evil. A battle between justice and vengeance. A battle between the Starship Enterprise and the wrath of Khan. For some it will be their first mission, for others it will be their last.
- Beyond the darkness…beyond the human evolution…is Khan. A genetically superior tyrant. Exiled to a barren planet; banished by a Starship Commander he is destined to destroy. Left for dead, Khan has survived.
The Search for Spock
- Join the search.
- A dying planet. A fight for life.
- Kirk must battle the Klingons to protect the Genesis Planet and save a friend’s life.
- The needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many.
The Voyage Home
- Beaming down to Earth December 12 1986.
- They travelled back where 23rd century man had never gone before. To a mad, crazy, outrageous time. 1986.
- How on Earth can they save the future?
- The key to saving the future, can be found only in the past.
The Final Frontier
- The Enterprise is back. This time, have they gone too far?
- Why Are They Putting Seatbelts In Theatres This Summer?
- The greatest Enterprise of all is adventure.
- What does God need with a starship?
- Adventure and Imagination Will Meet At the Final Frontier.
The Undiscovered Country
- The battle for peace has begun.
- The crew of the starship Enterprise fights not to win battles, but to end them forever.
- On the verge of peace. On the brink of war.
- Boldly Go.
- Two captains. One destiny.
- The torch of adventure is about to be passed.
- Resistance is Futile.
- Planet Earth. Population 9 billion. None human.
- You Will Be Assimilated.
- There is no thrill like First Contact.
- The battle to save the future has begun.
- Population 9 billion. All Borg.
- The Battle For Paradise Has Begun.
- Eternity Awaits Beyond The Final Frontier.
- Eternity Is Closer Than You Think.
- Six Hundred Lives… One Directive.
- Meet the new face of evil.
- The future of the galaxy, and the survival of a race, depend on an act of rebellion.
- Join the rebellion.
- Get Warped.
- On December 11th, Stand to fight. Hold your ground. Join the rebellion.
- Defend Forever.
- A Generation’s Final Journey… Begins.
- This December, a generation’s final journey begins.
- For Every Good in the Universe, There is an Evil.
- A Generation’s Final Journey Begins.
- On December 13th, the battle for Earth begins.
I need to make a comment about one of the tag lines at the expense of William Shatner. I actually have the poster with the tag line, thanks to a cousin who worked as an usher when the movie was released. The tag line is for The Final Frontier (the one that Shatner directed): Why Are They Putting Seatbelts In Theatres This Summer? I remember reading one critic’s answer to the tag line: To keep the audience from leaving. Ouch!
In reading through these tag lines and having read things about the upcoming movie, I think some of The Voyage Home tag lines could be used for First Contact and the upcoming movie. Namely, “How on Earth can they save the future?” and “The key to saving the future, can be found only in the past.”
Here are some tag lines I thought of that people have already used for other things. I realize that I may have heard some of these sayings in passing:
- No time like the past.
- Everything old is new again.
- Everything has a beginning.
Here’s a pick-up line that popped into my head. Don’t know who originated it, but I heard it from somewhere. I thought it was semi-clever:
- Set phasers to stunning!
Without further ado, here are my completely original tag lines for the next Star Trek movie:
- Kirk. Spock. McCoy. Scotty. Uhura. Sulu. Chekov.
- To preserve the future, we must head to the past…
- The future has never looked this good.
- If you think you’ve seen the future, look again.
- See how the future began…
- Witness the Birth of the Future.