Semi-Pro
Directed by: Kent Alterman
Written by: Scot Armstrong
Starring: Will Ferrell, Woody Harrelson, André Benjamin, Maura Tierney, Andy Richter, Will Arnett, Rob Corddry

Having proven himself to be something more than just another SNL star bringing tired 90 minute skits to the big screen, Will Ferrell is now faced with a new challenge in his career: demonstrating the talent and versatility to stay relevant and (more importantly) stay funny. It’s never easy being at the top, especially when you’re in comedy — too much of the same performance and people will eventually grow tired of the joke. There’s a Will Ferrell backlash percolating right now, and his latest movie, Semi-Pro is certainly not going to do him any favours in that regard.

We’ve all seen the rash of sports comedies being paraded out by studios over the past few years: Kicking and Screaming, Dodgeball, Balls of Fury, The Benchwarmers, Blades of Glory, The Comebacks… the list goes on. I thought Blades of Glory might have been the one to put an end to the madness, but then it actually turned out to be pretty funny, and it pulled in over $100 million. So now, almost a year later, we have Semi-Pro, a basketball comedy set in the 70’s with Will Ferrell starring as Jackie Moon, the owner, coach and star of the ABA’s Flint Michigan Tropics. The team stinks, but they have great promotional gimmicks and some dedicated fans. The problem is, the league will be merging with the NBA next year and only the top 4 teams will get to survive. Sure, it sounds like another formulaic and obvious underdog story, but Ferrell can spin just about anything into comedy gold… can’t he?

Well, here’s the thing: when it comes to Semi-Pro, Will Ferrell is starting from ground zero. There is absolutely nothing in this movie for him to play off of… no script, no jokes, and literally no supporting cast. Will Ferrell is a funny guy, but one thing he is not is a miracle worker. Zero multiplied by anything is still zero… catch my drift?

This is not to say that there aren’t some good actors in Semi-Pro; quite the opposite in fact. Somehow the movie manages to squander not just Will Ferrell, but also Woody Harrelson, David Koechner, Tim Meadows and Will Arnett, among others. The humour generated by Jackie Moon never goes beyond his ego and his hair. Harrelson and Koechner’s characters on the other hand are almost completely straight-laced. There is nothing funny about them whatsoever. Not everyone in a comedy needs to have a silly quirk or personality defect, but when the entire team of players in your basketball comedy are essentially nameless, average guys, you’ve got a serious problem on your hands. The only other guy on the team who existed strictly for laughs was the foreign guy who couldn’t understand English — and even low brow gags like these were fumbled.

The 1970’s setting was a huge missed opportunity. I was hoping that they would seize the chance for some decent satire, and the best they could do was give everyone big afros and have someone play Pong in the locker room. Come on man! I’m not asking for something overly clever, but at least make an effort. This movie really has no memorable one-liners or standout scenes.

Stranger still, the movie relies on almost entirely on basketball-related stuff. The biggest off-court storyline is a serious love story between Woody Harrelson and Maura Tierney… as if anyone cares! What does Jackie Moon do in his spare time? The only time we see his social life, he shows up at a club and throws on his hit single “Love Me Sexy” (perhaps one of the only funny things in the movie… too bad they ran it into the ground). I thought they were going to make Jackie Moon out to be a Wilt Chamberlain type of ladies’ man, but apparently even that would have required too much creativity. Considering that it’s an R-rated film, you’d think there’d be a little more sex involved. Speaking of which, the F-bombs seem to have been added in after the fact in order to make up for the lack of actual jokes. I’m sorry to say, it doesn’t help.

Semi-Pro is proof that Will Ferrell is only human and that he is somewhat helpless when abandoned and left to sleepwalk through a bland script. The man needs a writer and director who know his strengths, and he needs a cast to work with. Scot Armstrong was one of the co-writers of Todd Phillips’ Old School and Starsky & Hutch, but he also wrote the recent Farrelly Brothers bomb The Heartbreak Kid, so his involvement in the other two movies is seeming more and more coincidental. As for the director Kent Alterman, he is a long-time producer, but Semi-Pro marks his first time behind the camera. I think it’s pretty obvious why this movie comes up short on almost every front.

In the end, Ferrell is going to be the one who takes the hit for this one, and it’s unfortunate because I don’t think it’s entirely his fault. On the other hand, he should have known better than to jump into another one of these movies, because they obviously aren’t as easy to churn out as one might think. I still feel that Ferrell is hilarious, creative and far from being washed up, but I have to concur with all the critics who have slammed Semi-Pro. A comedy is going to be judged by the quantity and quality of laughs, and when there aren’t any laughs to be had, you have to ask yourself why you’re even watching. Trust me… don’t bother. — Sean

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